I'm back

I was going to write more here, but I've been going through a rough patch recently. Rough patch isn't even the right way to say it. I feel like something heavy is pushing down on, grinding me down to a soft paste. That doesn't sound too dramatic, does it? Sigh…

It's Raph. He's changing. The guy I met, the guy I fell in love with, was funny and kind and sweet. Even when he was rambling on about all the strange stuff I really didn't want to know about, he made it sound fun and interesting. These days he's gotten so cold and, well, boring. The weird stuff he talks about just sounds weird now, and he tosses and turns at night, muttering and whining like he's afraid of something. The last time I shook him awake and asked him what he was afraid of.

"Dying," he said. I didn't know what to say, so I let him fall asleep again. I slept on the couch the rest of the night.

And that really was the last time. A few days ago I went to Raphael's lab and found him listening to the recording of his time at the house. I recognized the voice of the man that attacked him in the house… it was the same as the homeless man who gave me that crazy flyer.

I just can't take any more. I feel a little silly that two similar voices were the straw that broke the camel's back but I couldn't take any more. So… I told Raphael he needed to give up all this study of the strange stuff, or we were done. He laughed it off, saying I was worried about nothing.

Needless to say, that didn't reassure me, and I left. I'm not sure he even watched me leave. I'm pretty sure he just turned back to his stupid "research."

But now… am I just worried about nothing? Did I do the right thing? 

Friday night was terrible.

Happy anniversary. Raph put it off, saying that he really needed to help Professor E with his experiment about "Fifth Dimensional Barriers" or something. I didn't like it that much but I said fine. I felt more like being alone Friday anyway. It was about time for another anniversary of mine anyway and it always feels better to be alone.

I didn't get to be alone. I went wandering and practically two minutes after I left my car I was accosted by this… bum! God, he smelled and was ranting and raving about how cold he was (it was NOT cold) and then… and then he said some stuff about my father, as if some smelly old bum could have known my father! Then he… well… he said some things that sounded like he knew what was happening with Raphael, pressed a piece of paper into my hands, and ran off.

I ran off and found out that Raphael had been hurt conducting that stupid experiment! How could he put himself in danger like that, on our anniversary of all days! I stayed by his side all night but I was so mad at him. I think he's going to have to choose between these experiments and me.

I'm putting up a picture of the thing the bum gave me. I'm not sure why, but he did seem to know what was happening with Raph. I'd like to rip it up and throw it, but I think I'll wait a bit. Just in case…




 

I'm going underground.

Raphael ( I still giggle a bit when I call him that. Why did Prof E have to give him such a silly "secret name" ?) asked me start up a new blog if I need to talk about super secret things that he's doing in Prof E's spare lab. I thought, what the heck, right? If that's all he asks… and I really don't want him to get kicked out. I don't think Raph would function well outside a college environment.

None of my other friends would want to know about it anyway. I know I wouldn't, if I was them. It's much better to live in the real world.